Eight life lessons from the luckiest Man in the world...

I’m supposed to be writing a piece on leadership. But today would be Dad’s birthday and with Father’s Day approaching, I sit here and my fingers have spent the last half an hour typing three words then deleting them. Until I started typing this.

In the 10 years since Dad died I’ve learnt so much.  I’ve studied, published, started businesses and ended them. I’ve sat with thousands of leaders, teams, clients and patients; people struggling with grief, and those navigating changes not of their choosing. I’ve become a parent to three daughters, and had inspirational mentors. I’ve had setbacks I thought I would never recover from and somehow did. At times I’ve been proud of myself and perhaps more than occasionally I’ve disappointed myself. 

Of all I’ve learned in life, I realised recently that the most important lessons came early.  Dad was a man who couldn’t even stand, yet everyone looked up to. He didn’t finish school –  his university was deciding to never leave a conversation with a stranger without learning something from them. Dad fell more times than any of us could count, but the only thing I can tell you for sure is that he always got up smiling.  He couldn’t turn himself in bed yet even as a small child when my sisters and I would help him put his shoes on, he would share that he was the luckiest man in the world.

Being raised by a man who became a quadriplegic before I was even born was the biggest blessing of my life.  I have realised more recently that just about everything I know about who I want to be as a leader, parent, Psychologist and actually, as a human being, I learned from Dad. 

• The best things in life are never borne of “easy”.
• What defines us is what we create, not what we lost.
• Nothing material in life can bring a fraction of the joy as one precious, unexpected conversation.
• Imagine all that human beings are truly capable of.  Now double it.
• Avoid, blame and run all you like. But at some point you will be alone with yourself and you should make sure you like that person.
• Don’t waste time lamenting that you fell when you can be figuring out how to get up.
• If life was a game of paper, scissors, rock - sense of humour beats everything.
• What matters is not what life gives you, but what you give it back. 

As I write this, the nagging thought that I should get back to writing about leadership has passed. I already have.